I’m sad for many reasons and I’m not sure how to shake my sadness.
I’m sad because close friends of mine have suffered great losses in their life recently. One lost both of her parents (92 years old) just six weeks apart and another just lost her husband unexpectedly due to a car accident.
I’m sad because I feel like there isn’t anything I can do to help them get through this huge loss. I know just being there is doing something but I feel like I need to do more.
I’m sad because there are changes going on at work which are beyond my control which could affect my livelihood.
I’m sad because the best employee I’ve ever had is retiring and while training the new Deputy Clerk I’m finding that I should know more about things and I don’t. I don’t know some things because Ellen just got shit done and I never had to worry about what she was working on. I’m scared that people will think I’m not on top of things.
I’m sad because of the costs of unexpected dental issues and that I wasn’t planning on budgeting for.
I’m sad because I want to take care of myself, eating right and exercising, and lately I can’t because I’m overwhelmed by everything. I come home from work mentally drained and don’t really have the desire to exercise. I just want to sit on the couch, close my eyes for a little bit. I did manage to take MDog for a walk today because the sun went down and the temperate dropped so that’s a bit of progress.
The last couple weeks have been trying. I’m trying to figure out how to get my emotions out rather than stuffing them back in with food, which actually I’ve been so busy I’ve been forgetting to eat. Instead of stuffing them in I’ve been letting them out and now I can’t stop. My sadness is coming out in tears which I have been shedding a lot of lately. I guess I too am experiencing some loss in a way and I have to figure out a way to deal with it. At least I do have some happy things happening this weekend, like Leyla’s wedding, to hopefully keep my mind off things. Writing this post helped me feel a little better. It felt good to get that off my chest somewhat.
Now for the good things that happened today. I spend the day at the WMCA District 5 Training Session with my fellow clerks and it was a very good session. Thank you to Barb and Chris for helping me plan the session and for the Starbucks run. Thanks for making the name tags fun. I also received the final copy of the artwork of Molly I ordered which turned out FREAKING AMAZING!!! The artist is Brittany Farina and her work is incredible. Here is what she did for me.
Aaaahhhhh….isn’t it cool??!?!?!?!?! You should order one for your pet.
Thanks for listening (reading) to me today. I feel a little better now. I’m going to go read a book for a bit and go to bed. I could use a good night’s rest.